Thursday, October 21, 2010

Another blog…really?

If you know me, then you know I don’t do the social network scene.  Well…that’s not entirely true.  On occasion, I have been known to highjack my wife’s Facebook account and snoop around a bit, but for the most part I don’t Facebook, tweet or chat. 

So, why blog now?  Why another blog?  Well, I’ll get to that in just a bit.

But first a little (or not so little) disclaimer:  In my opinion when it comes to communicating, I have to say, I’m a much better speaker than writer.  Put me in front of a group of people – whether large or small – give me a few bullet point notes, and I’m good to go.  Why?  Probably because I don’t’ have the option to edit (you’ll see what I mean in a bit if you follow this blog – see!).  But write, OH!, that’s a completely different animal.  I’m not sure, but it could have something to do with a severe case of undiagnosed ADHD that I live with…

(the reality is there’s not enough letters in the alphabet to label my jacked-up-ness)

…or it could be the underlying fact (pause) – see, I just got distracted by a bird outside…I’m back now – that I’m somewhat, at times, self-conscious as well as borderline indecisive by nature (I come by that honestly).  Like a tangled knot of yarn that a cat got a hold of, all these idiosyncrasies together look something like this when I try to write the simplest narrative:

-         Write quick so I don’t forget what I’m thinking…
-         STOP, reread…
-         Go back, insert some thought I lost because I got distracted by a bird or something outside…
-         STOP, reread, rewrite… because I’m not sure what I wrote is what I really wanted to say…
-         STOP, reread, rewrite… because I’m afraid what I’ve written will make me sound like a complete idiot…
-         STOP, reread, rewrite…and on and on and on (notice a downward spiral?)

This disheveled yarn ball approach drives my wife, Lump, NUTS! (That’s not actually her real name, but that’s what I call her – which in itself, is a story for another day.)  And to be honest with you, it drives me crazy too.  

Writing hurts.

So why do it?

Why now?

Why after all these years outside the social network do I break the proverbial silence, dust off my tangled mess and jacked up writing skills to start a blog?  What do I have to say that’s not already been said?  And why the name “…from the inside…”?
Because that’s where I am.

In jail. 

Locked up.

Put away.

As of today, I have been incarcerated in an adult detention center for six months of an 18 month sentence.  But still yet, why now; why write; why blog?  Honestly…I DON’T KNOW…all I can say is that this is what I feel we (Lump and I) should do right now (God knows I have the time).

Those of you that know Lump and me, know what we are going through.  You also know how God has and is working in our lives.  This is not the ideal setting for a marriage, but in the midst of something that appears so wrong or bad, God is so GOOD and has been working in, out and through our lives –

Lump on “the outside.”

Me  on “the inside.”

But ultimately God has been changing us both on the INSIDE.

So this is what we have to offer.  Join us if you’d like.  We’d love for you to.  The journey can be quite exciting, and “a trip” to boot.  For those of you who have not been in jail, which is probably a pretty high percentage of you, the atmosphere, happenings and people can be quite a little piece of fiction at times.  But it’s amazing how God takes them and teaches some of the most foundational principles of Who He is...

…from the inside…ray-ray


  1. scott I am so beyond proud and amazed by you and beck. thank you for writting this! I am praying for you both and love you guys very much! thanks got teaching me a little something here :) _lindsay hlad

  2. you guys are the best! Ray, you know I miss you like crazy! I'm proud of you for writing down your feelings because I know you don't like to do it. :) Bek thanks for being an amazing friend and for doing what is right even in the hard times. Both of you inspire me and make me want to be a better person. In the words of well you Scott, "Big love to you both!" :) _Shannon Perdue

    P.S. I'm totally making you get a fb when you get out! :)

  3. scott. i have written a few letters!!! hahaha But they are still on my desk. so glad you are writing here.. and yes! congrats.. you HATE social networking.. but you write pretty well too!! chin up!! i'm coming to visit soon.. if thats cool?

    lata boss.

  4. Scott-Jay and I think about you and pray often! Can't help but think Jer, 29:11 in this case... kind of a weird place to be and quote this verse! But He does have a plan and a purpose for both you and Rebekah! Looking forward to reading what you have to say! Always loved hearing you preach! Show Jay how it is done! haha!!!

  5. Scott, you know I pray for you, and your beautiful family, every day. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. We've been through so much together since kids and we'll have much to share going forward. What are friends for? To pray for you and encourage you in times of need. Yes, this too shall pass. Stay strong my friend. - Bourne

  6. Dude! You have never left my mind, and I know God can use all our problems and make them praises. Our failures in our flesh teach us to rely more on the Spirit when we heal from the fall.

    You keep this up! I'll be sticking around buddy