Monday, November 8, 2010

From playmate to inmate…how I got here - Part 4

Identity by conformity.
I was going to start this blog with the statement, “I hated high school” – but after thinking about it a bit, I decided that “hate” was a little too strong of a word. So I’ll begin this way…

For the record, I extremely disliked high school (come to think of it, Jr. High too).  The cliques, struggle to fit in, search for identity, and mere awkwardness of growing up…all centered around academics and sitting still in a classroom all day (remember, I’m self-diagnosed ADHD).  

I mean seriously…give me a break...this was not my idea of a good time.

Don’t get me wrong there were some good times in the midst of the mess – but that can be said of jail too. In fact, in any given situation, circumstance or time of life there are always those people you meet or special times and memories that are produced that would not have happened nor could have been duplicated outside of that particular situation, circumstance or time.  So in that regard, high school was OK.

I have great memories of “running the roads” (as my dad called it), going to the mall on weekends, Friday night football games, and double dating with my best friend from life.  A little piece of irony, his nickname was “High School”.

That's High School on the left.

I will never forget my first car - a cool old car, a 1966 Mustang - and cruising “the park” (our teenage hangout) on warm summer nights listening to Lover Boy and Tom Petty…on 8 track!

I smile when I think about basketball and golf team away trips, and the memory of a high school dance that I had “way too much” fun at.

Since I’m on this little trip of nostalgia, looking back introspectively I’d have to say that I was average in intelligence, average in looks and average in popularity – somewhere between

Marty McFly


Tom Cruise.

I dressed like, wore my hair like and acted like 75% of my classmates.  In reality, any one of us could have been the “poster child” for the small town middle class preppy.

If perception is reality…then, to that extent I knew who I was.

When all was said and done, and graduation FINALLY rolled around, I had at least survived this battle with the struggle to appear smart, strong and popular. 

CONFORMITY had been my shield.

…from the inside…ray-ray

1 comment:

  1. Scott...Thanks for writing. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Intrigued to see where it leads...through your blog and once this "season" of life is done. Love ya dude. And am praying for you.