My Lump, my Lump…Ode to the Lump

I can’t remember if it was a rabbit, a bear or some other animal species that the toy industry used as replicas to make these specific children’s cuddly stuffed animals.  But to this day I can still see the pink and white silky parachute material creature looming fuzzily in the back of my mind – I just can’t make out the details of its face.  The one feature of this popular late 80’s children’s toy that made it stand out from all the other stuffed animals of its time was how unusually light and fluffy it was.  I mean this thing was like squeezing air – it had to weigh near to nothing.

What is it you ask?

A Puff-A-Lump.

image via

The source of my wife’s nickname.

(Read my first post if you’re confused.)

One day, several years back, when Lump and I first started talking, for some reason I grabbed and squeezed the bicep area of her arm.  To my surprise it was the softest bicep I’d ever squeezed before – next to a newborn baby that is.  Just like a Puff-A-Lump, it was as if I was squeezing  air.  I mean she had no muscle mass whatsoever.  Jokingly, I said, “my gosh, you’re as soft as a Puff-A-Lump”…and so the nickname was birthed.  At first I called her Puff-A – until, I don’t know why, I just shortened it to Lump.  And so it is – 

Lump – my Lump  

the one I almost missed.

To say that Lump and I have lived different lives would be a gross misstatement.  We come from polar opposite spectrums of the carnal life.  I mean you’ve read (or hopefully you’ve read) the account of my jacked up conglomeration of a life.  Well for Lump’s imagine the complete opposite and you’ll get a pretty good idea of what I mean.  Lump never drank, smoked or dipped – nor ran with those who did (joke).  By the grace of God, she became a Christian at age four and never looked back.  Though she doesn’t boast of herself this way, to me she is the epitome of a godly woman.  Jokingly I tell people all the time that Lump is honest even when she is trying to be dishonest.  To say that I married up is an understatement. (Ok, that’s enough “I know’s” and “Amen’s” out there.)

Additionally, you may have noticed from her Facebook pictures that I’m slight (term used loosely) older than she is – so, therefore, us coming together is really nothing short of water being parted or bread falling from the sky.  When I first met her, she was just another person of many that I worked with in the Campus Pastor’s office at the university – but as time clicked on and I got to know and understand who she is, it slowly became clear to me – what many of you have known – Lump is one interesting person (especially her sense of humor – which for some strange reason I understood).

One day, shortly after we met, a few of the people I worked with as well as a few students were sitting around my office talking about this and that, when the subject of “where you are from” came up.  When it got to Lump, she explained that her parents were in ministry and they’d lived all over, but that she called North Carolina home.  She then went on to name a few of the cities and towns of the Tar Heel state that she’d once lived in.  One of those towns just so happened to be the quaint little southern town where I lived and recruited for the Air Force.  The kicker being – she lived there the same time I did.  And so, that small common denominator became the key that started our relationship.

The hidden treasure from my past had been revealed (see part 7).

To save you the boredom of a drawn out narrative concerning our dating experience, let me sum it up like this – we had more issues to work through than your average couple.  But it was good – it forced us to confront them and work through them together.  There were a few times we took a break to examine and pray about whether or not we should proceed.  One of those times near the end of our dating, I remember very clearly a conversation I had with a good friend of mine who lives up in the northern panhandle of West Virginia.  In the conversation, I was ranting and raving about not knowing what to do; I loved Lump and all, but I had also gotten to the point in my life that I was finally OK being by myself.  I was traveling and speaking at different events almost every weekend – I came and went pretty much as I pleased – I liked my life – I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married.

It was my friend’s next comment that stopped me dead in my tracks and arrested my indecisiveness.  In so many words he said, 

That’s all well and good, but I sure hear a lot of 

me’s and I’s in there.  Have you asked God what He thinks? 

 Lump may very well be the one God has to come alongside 

of you and walk out the purpose for your life.

I was speechless – I knew I had not – at least in that way.  And so it was, from that day on that I knew Lump was the one.  Oh how true that has become.

You can read every book at Barnes and Noble about forgiveness and commitment, obtain a head full of knowledge about them and still not truly grasp them until you’ve experienced them in your life.  Lump did not deserve what I did to her.  My self-centered and selfish behavior brought embarrassment and heartache to the very one that believed and trusted me to be the man of God she married.  I failed her miserably.  In the world’s opinion, if anyone ever had the right to be mad, hold a grudge, withhold their forgiveness and walk away from a commitment, she did.  But that’s not my wife.  Not for one moment, even from the beginning, did she ever use my wrong to her favor.  No, she showed her love by forgiving me and sticking by me. By experiencing her human forgiveness and commitment, I began to understand in a great way what God’s forgiveness and commitment were actually like. 

It’s amazing how He uses His children as instruments of His Big Love.

In a way – a big way – what Lump is enduring far outshines and outweighs what I’m experiencing.  I sit in jail due to my rebellion and sin.  I deserve to be here.  Yes, I’m persevering and making the best of where God has placed me, but Lump’s actions far surpass my pushing through.  Her attitude and actions model the life of a true Christian.  Although I shouldn’t be surprised – all of this coming from the woman that once told me that Mercy Me’s song Bring the Rain best described how she felt about her relationship with Christ.  At the time I’m sure she had no idea how heavy the downpour would be.  But she has not faltered nor waivered – no, on the contrary, she has dug in, stood firm in her faith and has let her light shine.  I tell her all the time that I think this mess is more about her testimony than mine – or perhaps it’s both – who knows – we’ll see.

I love you Lump! 

 You’re my most favorite person…and best friend.

Thanks for being you.

Big love!

…from the inside…ray-ray

 

Bring the Rain by Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty